Six months on
Lessons learned on the road to recovery
It's been six months—almost to the day—since I was admitted to the hospital for emergency surgery. Life has changed a lot since then, and here are some random things I've learned along the way - in no particular order:
1) People say the weirdest things when they find out I've been ill.
The classic "But you look so healthy!" is my personal favourite. Is it a backhanded compliment about my previous unhealthy look? A subtle nod to some weight loss? Or do they just not believe I was actually ill?
My advice is to stick with something simple like, "I was sorry to hear you've been unwell. It's great you're back at work. Let me know if you need anything as you settle back in", and skip the commentary on appearances.
2) There's a LOT of paperwork to deal with.
The administration seems endless, from hospital discharge notes to return-to-work plans, 25-page insurance claim forms, referrals, test results, appointment booking, mental health assessments, privacy notices, and invoices. It's overwhelming, and I don't fully understand a lot of it! A quick counting exercise shows I've accumulated over 500 pieces of paper, 35+ appointments, worked with at least 30 professionals all in just six months.
If the illness doesn’t get me, the life admin might.
3) And the paperwork I should have, I don't.
For example, I don't have a will. This is bad - the end.
4) It IS possible to look forward to receiving an email.
In the early days, this was related to test results or referrals as part of recovery. Now I realise I was very wrong about this.
The ONLY email to look forward to dropping into the inbox is Nick Cave's Red Hand Files. If you haven't subscribed yet, you definitely should.
Each one is chefs kiss emoji.
5) People have a strong opinion about my decision to quit alcohol, and they are not afraid to share it.
After surgery, to support my recovery, I decided to give up alcohol altogether. I am not a big drinker so this was not a significant sacrifice, but apparently, my choice to not drink alcohol seems to really challenge some people. I thought culturally, we might have moved beyond this now, but apparently not.
6) I find myself saying sorry ALL the time.
It's my default response to almost everything. I know the word sorry is complex and often gendered. In this context, I am usually apologising for my health inconveniencing another person (sorry I work part time, sorry I have been away for a while etc). But seriously, why am I apologising for things entirely out of my control? Especially when the person most inconvenienced by all of this is me.
7) Oversharing the health horror stories.
When I talk with people about health stuff, it's like I've opened up a storytelling session at the "Health Horror Stories Club." It's like a competition for the most gruesome story. Knowing what happened to your neighbours, aunts, granny in a hospital in Bristol seven years ago is… well…at best unhelpful. Please make it stop.
8) I have the best friends and family.
My friends and family have come through for me in a major way over the last six months. They have rescued me from awkward situations, they have laughed with me at the weird stuff that has happened, they have walked, talked, sent silly Instagram messages, drunk coffee and eaten pastries with me. I already knew I had the best folks around me - but it great to re-know this all over again.
I am preparing for what will hopefully be my final surgery in July. I'll keep you posted about any other lessons along the way ;-)